My Journey To Healing

To forgive and to be forgiven

Please allow me to share part of my journey when God truly began to reveal to me the importance of forgiving myself, asking for forgiveness and forgiving others.

My Journey

Once I recognized the destruction in my life, I knew that I didn’t want to be a hurt person hurting people anymore. I wanted to be free! I cried out to God for help, and in the quietness of my spirit I heard . . . forgiveness. From that moment, I began to learn the power and freedom of forgiveness. When I realized that God promises to forgive us for our destructive thoughts, attitudes, words and behaviors, I asked for His forgiveness of all of mine. Though I knew that He would forgive me, I struggled with forgiving myself for all the ways I had brought destruction into my life and relationships. I was so burdened by all of the unintended consequences of my harmful choices that I was unable to let go of my shame.

During my times of stillness, God urged me over and over to forgive myself. He reminded me that He had already forgiven me, and that my holding on to the burden of my guilt would never set me free. I couldn’t just know that He would forgive me; I had to accept that His forgiveness had already washed me clean. Eventually, I was able to truly accept the gracious gift of God’s forgiveness—I finally released the burden of my guilt and forgave myself.

With this decision, I was walking toward greater freedom, but God had more to teach me about forgiveness. He showed me that accepting His forgiveness is not just about releasing my own guilt. Accepting His forgiveness requires seeking forgiveness from those we’ve hurt and choosing to forgive those who have hurt us. Choosing forgiveness is not always easy and does not always “feel” right, but it is a necessary choice for our freedom: “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14-15). Gradually, I chose to forgive those who had hurt me, and with a wash of healing tears, I felt the heavy burden of unforgiveness lift. I felt whole; I felt free.

God also began to prompt me to seek forgiveness from various people I had hurt. These promptings were not all at once; in fact, some were even years after I began my journey out of my dark valley. But each time I responded in obedience to God’s leading, I experienced the gift of forgiveness from that person. I encourage you to examine your heart to see if there are any remnants of unforgiveness toward those who have hurt you, or if you need to seek forgiveness from someone else. If so, press into God, and He will give you the strength and courage you need to experience forgiveness in your relationships. It is a choice worth making—forgiveness leads to freedom.

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Be Love, Give Love

Abby

BE LOVE, GIVE LOVE
Abby Lewis

Do you remember the birth of your child?  Do you remember the transition part of the labor, the part just before you get ready to push?  If you had a natural childbirth like I did, then you can remember the transition in great detail.

Doctors and Midwives say that the transition is the hardest part of the entire delivery process.  So why is that?

Looking back on my son‘s delivery, during the transition time, I thought to myself:  there is no way I am going to be able to make it through this, to finish, to get to the end and I remember saying out loud,  “I can‘t do this anymore.”  My midwife and nurse had prepared me before hand that once I hit that moment where I say I can’t do this anymore, then I should take comfort in knowing that I am almost there…almost finish….that I have just a little bit further to go and before I know it I will be holding my precious child.

Tim and I are in a transition season of life right now.  God has been doing a work within us the last two years and we know the birth…the fruit of our labor is just right around the corner.  Right now we are persevering like never before, pushing through what seems to be the hardest part.  At times we become weary, frustrated and we think it is never going to end…that all the work we have had to do the last two years is for nothing.

But we regain focus.  We know what God told us and even when all things seem to be working against us…we are certain we are on the right track.  So despite it all, we choose to stay focused on God, we choose to stand up under the pressure, we choose to press on while holding tight to one another and we continue onward…trusting and hoping in God‘s plan for us.  We know it is just around the corner, the birth of the baby, the fruit of our labor.

BE LOVE, GIVE LOVE

Abby

What word would you use to describe YOU?

Ponder this:

If you could use only one word to describe yourself during this time in your life what would it be?  I want you to be honest with yourself.  Don’t describe yourself as others see you.  Describe yourself as you see you.  Take off the mask for a moment and look within.  What do you see?  How do you feel?

For years I lived with a mask on.  It was too painful to look underneath my mask, so I kept it secured tightly…until, I hit rock bottom 10 years ago.  The word I would use to describe myself  back then would have been chaos.  Now, 10 years later, the word I would use is blessed.  I have a powerful testimony of how God healed me from all the chaos and I share it in great detail in my book Blossoming out of the Valley.

So think about the word you used to describe yourself….peaceful, chaos, fear, love, depressed, noise, hurt, pain, joy, beauty, transformed, trapped, lonely, free, blessed….what word did you used?  Are you happy where you are?  Do you want to move forward?

It is time to take the next step so you too can Blossom out of Valley.

Be Love, Give Love
Abby Lewis

As the year comes to a close, I am always intrigued to know what is in store for me for the next year.  For the last several years I have made a point to sit with God and just ask him this question.  So instead of sitting and making “my” new year’s resolutions, I take some time to be with God and listen to what He has to say about the upcoming year.  He always manages to share with me something that will cause me to grow and step out of my comfort zone.  Each year, as I follow His leading, I am molded and shaped to be more like Him.  What a blessing it is to begin a new year with Him.

I encourage you to take a few moments right now and ask God this question….What do you have in store for me in 2012?

May you have a blessed and fruitful year!

Be Love, Give Love
Abby Lewis

Photo By: Chiaralily’s Photostream

I am feeling lead to give away 12 of my A Breath~in Stillness CDs. I know there are many of you struggling to find peace and stillness with God and I am confident this CD will assist you in establishing a life of stillness.

If you are in need or know someone that is then please send me a direct message and I will be sure to get one out to you ASAP.

To learn more about the CD and to listen to a sample clip click here.

Be Love, Give Love~

Abby

“If you knew what I had in store for you, then you would stop fighting me so much.”  These words came out of my mouth as I was getting my 1 year old son, Shia, ready to go play outside.

Shia loves to play outside.  What kid doesn’t?  But sometimes getting him ready to go outside can be somewhat of a challenge.  I am sure all mothers can relate.  He just wouldn’t sit still for me to get his shirt on or his pants, socks, shoes or jacket.  Needless to say, he was fighting me every step of the way and all I wanted to do was bless him by letting him go outside to play.  Of course he doesn’t really understand yet when I say, “lets get ready to go outside and play.”  If he did, I bet he wouldn’t fight me at all.  He would definitely be more cooperative.

So as I said, “if you knew what I had in store for you, then you would stop fighting me so much,” I immediately heard in my spirit, “yes Abby, if my children knew what I had in store for them, they too would stop fighting me so much.”

So why do we resist and fight God every step of the way when all He wants to do is bless us?  It is time to let go and let God flow.

You can tell if you are resisting God if you live with fear, worry, depression, anger, bitterness, unforgiveness, jealousy, lust, greed, hopelessness, panic, addictions, control issues, judgment, hatred, loneliness, guilt, shame, frustration, sadness, envy, doubt, boredom, just to name a few.

There is so much in store for you….just waiting for you.  I am sure, just like Shia, if you knew what was in store for you, then you wouldn’t fight God so much.

God wants to bless you.  All you have to do is stop fighting and just be still and know that He is God.  He is waiting, arms open wide, to love you unconditionally, to heal and restore you, to bless you.

Stop the fight….turn and face Him.  I promise He is there and the blessings are just waiting.  The longer you fight, the longer it is going to take.

Be Love, Give Love~
Abby

As I sit here and ponder my healing journey once more, I can’t help but to be completely in awe with Jesus and all that He has brought me through.  His love is truly amazing.  Because of Jesus…I finally have peace and stillness.

I’m guest blogging over at my friend Jennifer White’s blog as part of the “Because of Jesus” series.

Can you imagine:    Your life spiraling out of control?  Having panic attacks several times a day?  Your marriage falling apart?  Broken relationships with family members?

Read the rest here.. 

Be Love, Give Love~

Abby

Take a few moments to think about your life. Maybe you have addictions to tobacco, alcohol or drugs. Maybe you lie or steal, or are addicted to sex, food, prescription drugs or pornography. Maybe you struggle with anger issues that cause you to harm yourself or someone else. Maybe you have a completely negative perspective and a critical spirit. Maybe you hate yourself. Maybe you have insecurities that hold you back. Maybe you doubt your worth. Maybe you . . .

Now, take a few moments to think about the person that you love the most. Maybe it is your child or spouse, a friend or relative. Picture that person in your mind, and allow yourself to feel how much you love him or her, how much he or she means to you. Take a moment to experience the love and joy you feel toward that person. Though we can never love this person perfectly (we are human after all), this is a beautiful picture of the way God perfectly and unconditionally loves us.

Now, think about all of the harmful things you do to yourself, the destructive patterns of behavior in your life. Imagine the people you love the most experiencing all of the pain and suffering that results from these behaviors. Watch them doing all the drugs or alcohol that you take. Picture them smoking cigarettes, over-eating or cutting themselves. Imagine them taking on the anger you feel, or being trapped in a web of negativity about themselves and others. Recognize that their insecurities or lack of self-respect are preventing them from freely living.

This is tough to even visualize. It is extremely painful to imagine the ones we love most inflicting harm or causing suffering for themselves and those around them. It pains God in the same way to see us stuck in patterns of behavior that do nothing but destroy us.

Take time today to sit in God’s presence and truly experience Him. Take off your mask and allow Him full access to your heart. You will be so amazed by His power and love for you. As you rest in His love, you will begin to turn away from self-hatred and turn toward love for yourself as one of His children. Your life will never be the same. He longs to heal us and to free us from our dark valleys.

This is an excerpt from my book, Blossoming out of the Valley.  A powerful book that will inspire you to move forward in your healing journey and fine peace and stillness.

BE LOVE, GIVE LOVE~

Abby

Stillness.  When everything within you in calm….peaceful…still…

Why do we put our children in timeout?  Isn’t it to discipline them for acting out and to give them a chance to calm down?

Do you need an adult timeout?  Next time you feel upset, anxious, ready to lose it or any negative emotion…put yourself in timeout.  Give yourself a few minutes to calm down before returning.  Timeouts work every time.

In 2002, I hit rock bottom. I was only twenty-four years old, but I already suffered from extreme anxiety, control issues, depression and numerous addictions. My marriage was falling apart, as were my relationships with my entire family. My thoughts and words were filled with negativity and lies, and I had accumulated major credit card debt. As my problems piled up, they began to manifest physically through severe neck and back pain, as well as numbness in my left arm and left side of my face. I had no love for myself, no joy, no peace and no happiness. My entire life was in complete and utter chaos.

Do you want to know how I got out of this chaotic mess?  I choose to be still with God (taking timeouts) as often as I could.  Timeouts with God are beautiful, amazing and powerful, so powerful that those timeouts with God healed me from all of the chaos.  Unbelievable huh?  Read it for yourself!  God inspired me to share my entire unique healing journey with the world by writing Blossoming out of the Valley.  I am confident it will bless you and help bring stillness into your life.

BE LOVE, GIVE LOVE

Abby